We’ve all seen that Pinterest quote: “A negative mind will never give you a positive life.” And yeah, maybe it sounds a little cliché at this point—but let’s be honest, there’s a reason it’s everywhere. Deep down, we know it’s true.

Still, some days just drain the soul. You’ve got an endless to-do list, your inbox looks like it’s been hit by a tornado, and your brain is holding onto tasks like a sieve holds water. Or maybe you’re just wondering how it’s only Tuesday and you’re already on your third emotional breakdown (we’ve all been there).

But how important is positive thinking really?

Your thoughts have frequency—literally

Here’s the thing: our thoughts aren’t just harmless little whispers. They carry energy. Positive thoughts actually raise the vibrational frequency in our bodies, while negative ones lower it. This means your thoughts can subtly influence how vibrant, calm, or drained you feel—just like how a room feels lighter around someone joyful and heavier around someone constantly negative. When we’re constantly stressed, self-critical, or anxious, it’s like tuning into static instead of music—everything feels off.

Need proof? Let’s talk plants. There was a study where two identical plants were treated very differently: one was spoken to kindly every day—encouraged, complimented, maybe even serenaded. The other? Given a daily dose of verbal abuse. Guess which one thrived and which one wilted into a botanical breakdown?

Yep. The “bullied” plant literally withered and died. All from words. Now imagine what those constant negative thoughts do to you. So yes, how you talk to yourself really does matter. If “you are what you eat” holds truth, then “you are what you think” is just as powerful—if not more.

Staying positive when life feels like a dumpster fire

Let’s be real. Thinking positive is easy when everything’s going your way. But what about when your world’s on fire? When your parents are filing for divorce mid-way through your already soul-crushing master’s degree? Or when you finally crawl out of a black hole, only to trip and fall right back in?

I’ve been there. It’s not easy to slap on a smile and manifest good vibes when life feels like it’s in chaos mode. But here’s the truth: you may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond. Very cheesy, and easier said than done—I know—but hear me out:

Even when it feels like you’re surrounded by nothing but darkness, there’s always a flicker of light somewhere. My therapist has this habit of asking me to take a moment at the end of each session—just to breathe and think about the things in my life that are still going right, even when it all feels like it’s falling apart. It might feel like everything’s gone wrong, but there’s always something to be grateful for. A roof over your head, food to eat, the people who love you… and when things feel like they’re at their absolute worst, I remind myself—well, it can’t get worse than rock bottom, right?

Here are a few things that help me stay positive, even when it feels like the sun’s hiding far behind the clouds.

1. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a friend

Think about it: would you ever say the things you tell yourself to someone you care about? If your best friend was having a tough time, would you call her lazy or not good enough? Probably not—you’d remind her that she’s doing her best and everything will work out. So why do we talk to ourselves so harshly? Positive thinking starts with changing that inner dialogue. Next time you catch yourself spiraling into negativity, hit the reset button and try speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Say things like, “This is hard, but I’ve got this,” or “I’m doing my best today, and that’s enough.” Be your own cheerleader, not your biggest critic. Especially when times are tough, we need to be our own source of support and encouragement.

2. Gratitude > grumbling

It’s way too easy to get lost in the “what’s missing” or “what went wrong” mindset. But gratitude has this magical way of flipping the script—it forces you to focus on what is going right. And no, you don’t need to keep a lengthy gratitude journal (unless that’s your vibe). Just jot down three small things you’re grateful for every day, even if it’s something as simple as “the sun felt warm on my face” or “someone smiled at me.” Those tiny moments of acknowledgment? They add up. Gratitude is like mental weightlifting—the more you practice, the stronger your optimism muscle gets. Jay Shetty once said that a grateful and anxious thought cannot coexist at the same time. So, when you shift your focus to something you’re grateful for, the anxiety starts to fade. It’s a simple yet powerful practice that can immediately change your mindset.

3. Reframe the bad days

We’ve all had those days where it feels like nothing’s going right, and all we want to do is throw in the towel. But how you talk about those tough days can change how you experience them. Instead of saying, “Today was a disaster,” try, “Today was tough, but I did my best.” Or, instead of “I failed,” try “I learned something.” This isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect; it’s about shifting your perspective so that you don’t let a rough day take over your whole mindset. Reframing helps you stay grounded in reality without letting negativity steal your power. One of my friends once said, “You either win or learn,” and I love that mentality—it’s a reminder that every setback is an opportunity to grow and move forward, not a reason to give up.

4. Curate your inputs (your brain is always listening)

Your brain is like a sponge—it absorbs whatever it’s exposed to the most. If you’re constantly consuming negative news or mindlessly scrolling through Instagram feeling like everyone’s life is perfect except yours, it’s no surprise you feel drained. So, why not consciously curate what goes into your brain? Follow people who inspire and uplift you, listen to podcasts that motivate, or text that friend who always knows how to make you laugh. It’s all about protecting your peace. I used to scroll through negative news and follow influencers who subtly fed my craving for more—more stuff, more status, more something. I thought buying what they had might fill the gap, but instead, it just left me feeling emptier. The more intentional you are with what you consume, the easier it becomes to build a mindset that actually supports the life you want to live.

5. Move your body (yes, even a little counts)

Movement is seriously underrated when it comes to shifting your mood. Getting your body moving—even just a little—can do wonders for your mind and energy. You don’t have to be a fitness junkie or hit the gym first thing (unless that’s your jam). Sometimes, a quick stretch or a short walk can help release those feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. It’s not about getting fit—it’s about reconnecting with your body and shifting your energy. Start small. Start messy. Just start moving. Even on the toughest days, a bit of movement can make you feel better—even if it’s just a little. A little goes a long way.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, positive thinking isn’t about pretending everything is perfect—it’s about creating space for hope, resilience, and self-compassion, even when things aren’t going your way. It’s about choosing to speak kindly to yourself, to notice the little wins, to keep showing up even when you feel like hiding under the covers.

You won’t get it right every day. That’s okay. What matters is that you try—because every small shift in thought is a step toward a lighter, more empowered version of you.

So—what’s one thought you can choose today that feels just a little more kind, a little more hopeful? 💭